Divine
by Tonks32
Summary: Cassandra always did was asking of her and knew the sense of duty. When faced with the choice of becoming of the next Divine the Seeker doesn't know what to do because her heart and sense of duty are telling her two different things.


This was rattling in my head for a while now. I have read a lot of stories about The inquisitor and Cassandra talking about Divine, but most of them have their Inquisitor telling her to go only to chase after them having changed their mind. I support Cass becoming Divine and have made that painful choice to support her in the game as well as asking her to stay happening the way I wrote this story. I hope you guys enjoy! All mistakes are mine as I know there will be some :D

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Cassandra's hand lingered above the door handle, still mulling over Varric's words. How was it that the rogue was the one to finally give her a good kick in the arse? The issue about Divine had been an unaddressed issue for months now that neither she nor the Inquisitor ever thought too long about since the request was brought so Skyhold. Of course everyone else within its walls has been talking about it relentlessly, giving no reprieve for Cassandra whose fought off the thought every moment of every day. Just being asked to be Divine was an overwhelming honor and she would be lying to herself, and everyone in Thedas, if she said that she hadn't thought about all she could do and accomplish by taking the position. But so much had changed in her life. The biggest one being behind the damn door she was frozen in front of.

Cursing, Cassandra willed her shaking hands to steady and entered the quarters she shared with the Inquisitor. Gideon was sitting behind the big wooden oak desk scribbling relentlessly with his quill. She always found that the warrior looked so out of place with his large muscular build and calloused hands doing paperwork when his skills were so much more useful on the battlefield than behind a desk. It was one of the downsides of having the title of Inquisitor. "Too busy to spare a moment?"

Gideon's head bounced up and he scooped his overgrown hair out of his eyes. A smile lit up his face, "For you, my love, I'm never too busy." He was all too happy to push away from the paperwork that had enslaved him for the better part of the afternoon. "I was just thinking that it's a nice day for a walk. Would you care to join me? Say a nice stroll outside the keep to a certain grove?"

"Sounds wonderful." Cassandra closed the door at her back, "But perhaps we can talk first?"

"Is everything all right, Cassie?"

Concern filled his piercing gray eyes as Cassandra reached a hand out to his chest, a small touch to calm him. She didn't need him to go gallantly running off in the name to protect her again. "Everything is alright." The tension in his broad shoulders didn't ease. That's when Cassandra realized that she was in her battle stance. Well better just dive right into it. Maker knew she wasn't one to beat around the bush. "I got another letter from the Chantry."

"Oh." All the sudden it felt like there was an archdemon breathing down his neck. Gideon wished that's what he was facing instead of this. It was far easier to just push the thought of losing her deep down far enough in hopes it would just go away.

Her heart quivered as the love of her life took a step away from her. Her hands dropped back to her side, "They haven't made their choice, but the request has become official. Leliana has also received one."

"Have you two talked about this?"

"Some," Cassandra softly confessed. "Her mind has been made."

Gideon swallowed the lump forming in his throat, "Meaning?"

"She thinks that she is the reform that the Chantry needs. Not that I agree with her methods she suggested, I believe that she could do it. She also…" Cassandra's voice caught in her throat betraying her resolve she was so desperately trying to maintain. "Thinks that I am an equally a good choice and that I should put my name forward as well."

"And will you?"

She opened her mouth but nothing came out. It seemed the hour long pep talk from Varric lost its edge. When it came down to it, she was being a coward. Cassandra was too damn afraid to ask one very important question because of what the answer might be. If anyone knew the sense of duty, it was Gideon Trevelyan. Needing the support since her knees were all but knocking together, Cassandra leaned against the door. "If I do it then you and I." There was a burning in the back of her throat that was a prelude to tears. Cassandra Pentaghast didn't cry. "You and I will be over."

A smile twitched at the corner of his scarred mouth, "the Chantry would fall apart if their Divine would have improper relations with the likes of me."

There was so much pain in his voice echoing the pain twisting her heart. "If any exceptions could be made for anyone, it would be for you."

"But you won't." Gideon stated, "As much as you believe in reform you know that there will be some traditions to uphold to prevent total chaos."

At time Cassandra wished he didn't know her so well. "You can't abandon all tradition at once. But maybe once things settle…"

"Maybe." The echo of the word hung in the air. If she asked, Gideon would wait for as long as that maybe might be. She wouldn't though. If she did take the position of Divine she would tell him to move on because she thought herself unworthy of such devotion. Plus, the Seeker wouldn't want to put him through the pain of the separation. "What will be your answer?"

Cassandra felt his gaze penetrating the side of her face as she averted her eyes once again. Becoming Divine was the next logical step for her after serving as Seeker of Truth as well as one of the hands for the Divine. It would be her way of ensuring Justinia's vision for the Chantry was carried out. Justinia would have encouraged Cassandra to seize this opportunity. That alone made her feel the need to take the position. Or more of an obligation. One foot in front of the other, always following the next order was a very good summarization of her life. That was until she met the man standing in front of her looking completely petrified. "What do you think I should do?" Just say don't take it. That's all it would take and she would give her answer to the Chantry. All he had to do was ask her to stay.

Shoving a hand through his hair, Gideon stalked away from the Seeker. Stay. It was the first word to pop into his mind and he had to literally bite his tongue to keep himself from actually saying it. Asking that of her would be incredibly selfish of him. And damn it, after all he's been through and given up didn't he deserve to just be a little bit selfish? From the moment he woke up with the Maker forsaken mark on his hand, Gideon did what was asked of him no matter how insignificant and without complaint. Well without much anyway. But day after day he gave everything he had and how did they repay him? By asking him to give up the only person in Thedas he couldn't live without. He had the utmost confidence in Leliana's ability to be Divine and govern the Chantry, but Gideon just couldn't get fully behind the methods the spymaster would impose to achieve the reformation she strived for. Cassandra's way would cause a little bit of trouble but would work and be far more peaceful while also having the best possibility to be long lasting.

Maker this was too much for him to bear. His heart was physically breaking in two. Living without Cassandra was the constant subject of his nightmares. That was losing her to battle, something he had no control over. But Gideon had that control here in this very moment. He had to make the conscious choice to let her go with the painful knowledge that she was alive and well yet he couldn't have her. "You should…"

Cassandra watched him turn to look at her with a pain expression and held her breath. If he would tell her to take the position then she would have to leave the keep at first opportunity. There was no way Cassandra had neither the strength nor the courage to remain within the same walls with him and not being able to be with him.

"Stay." That wasn't what Gideon intended to say. He wasn't even entirely sure if the word actually came out of his mouth until he saw surprise cross the Seeker's face. No turning back now. Gideon crossed the room in two giant steps to take her face in his calloused hands, "Stay here with me."

"Gideon." Cassandra let out a shuddering breath giving into the tears she had been relentlessly fighting. Gideon must have seen them as a sign of discontent at his request because his mouth was on hers and she could taste the desperation. She gripped his wrist trying to free her mouth just as desperate to assure him that her tears meant something else.

"Stay. Maker please stay." He wasn't above begging. In fact he was already going to his knees ready to do whatever it took to keep her here. If that made him weak or selfish then so be it. "Please Cassandra. I know duty is safe and much easier than following your heart, but stay. All your life you put duty in front of everything so I'm asking you to finally do something you want, not what someone is asking of you. And if you don't stay for me then stay for the Inquisition. You're such a vital part that we can't lose you. Just remain here until we finish this and I won't stand in your way of becoming Divine."

Having followed Gideon to the ground so they didn't break contact, Cassandra tried to interrupt him by squeezing his wrist, "Gideon please." His mouth was on hers again drowning out anything else she could say. She didn't fight him and simply allowed herself to be swept away meeting his bruising kiss with one of her own. The way their hands clenched and fingers took purchase it was a miracle they didn't tear each other apart. Gideon was frenzied to love her in hopes to get her to stay or terrified this would be their last time like this while Cassandra was fueled by a mixture of gratitude and need. She knew that he hadn't meant to tell her to stay. He would think of what was best for her and realize that it wasn't with him in comparison of leading the Chantry after so many years of faithful service. As Inquisitor he always did what was best.

Needing air, Gideon tore his mouth from hers and finally realized that she was thanking him not fighting him. He moved away to study her tear streaked face, "You don't want the position?"

Cassandra began to skim her fingers over his cheek, "I can't say I don't, that would make me foolish if I thought that way. It's just…" She paused for a moment, "What you said about me was right. I always choose duty. To always do what is asked of me. Mostly."

The corner of his mouth curved at the way her voice danced with laughter, "You are choosing to stay here with me?"

"Yes." Cassandra was braced this time for the force of his kiss. Laughing, she tried to get a word or two out when he released her mouth long enough. "Maker. Yes."

"Yes." Gideon had never felt happier in his entire life. He bumped foreheads, his grip firm as he was too afraid she would just disappear if she wasn't touching her. "I love you Cassandra."

They tore at each other's clothes having no time to deal with laces and button in their haste to conquer on another. Somehow through the haze of unfathomed lust, Gideon realized they were moments away of having sex on the hardwood floor. He yanked her onto his lap as the last piece of her shredded clothing fluttered into the pool of fabric surrounding them. Cassandra had no warning and barely had enough time to latch her legs around his hips before he stood to keep herself from pitching backwards. Gideon stumbled not form her weight, he was far too strong for that, but from the remains of his trousers at his feet causing Cassandra to shriek in laughter.

Gideon twisted and fell, thankfully. on the bed with a soft grunt causing Cassandra to laugh even harder. He grinned, "Are you laughing at me, Lady Seeker?"

"Of course." She confessed bending down to brush her lips against his, "You are the most ridiculous man I've ever met."

"I am?" He flipped her onto her back eliciting a squeal, a real, girly squeal from the battle maiden. "I'll show you just how ridiculous I am."

"Oh I'm so afraid."

She would regret those words. Gideon pressed his mouth against the pulse at her throat as a starting point before he started to drift downwards. Soon her laughter had turned into breathless murmurs. He looked up desperate to see her face. Gideon never wanted to miss an opportunity to see the Seeker with her guard completely down. An occasion that was still somewhat rare and always breathtaking. He revealed in the fact that he was the one who could draw out the woman underneath all the armor. "Maker." He lifted his head just for a moment, "You're so beautiful."

Cassandra never felt or saw herself as such. And she knew for certain after their emotion session that there was no way she could even remotely come close to it. But when he looked at her with emotions swimming in his grey eyes she felt like the most beautiful thing in the world. He left her no chance to speak as he lowered his head to continue his sensual assault on her body. All Cassandra could do was slide her fingers into the hair at the back of his head to hang on for dear life.

The first coupling was frenzied. The second, Cassandra ruled over the Inquisitor to the brink of utter madness. The third time Gideon tried to even the score by worshipping every inch of her until she was screaming. After that they lost track and in the end it didn't matter. They made love well into the night ignoring the world to that point people stopped knocking on the door. Gideon swore that at one point he heard Bull's deep gruff threatening to dismember the next person to disturb him just outside his door. He was sure that they all understood how much the Seeker and Inquisitor needed this moment.

Weak as a baby, Gideon used what little strength he had to draw Cassandra flush to his side. They both could hardly keep their eyes open, but he had to ask one more thing before the night's end. "Cassandra."

The Seeker responded with a hum.

He skimmed his fingers along the scar on her cheek, "You won't find regret in the morning?"

"Never." Cassandra whispered without hesitation as she forced her heavy eyelids open. There was so much terror on his face. She turned to press a kiss to the center of his palm, "There is much regret in my life. You can never be one of them Gideon. You have given me so much in such a short time and taught me that there is more to life than what I could see. How can I regret staying with the man who loves me beyond measure?"

"I just want you to be certain, Cassandra."

"Are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Certain you will not find regret with me?" The question had been one that occupied her mind heavily since the start of their relationship. He was the Herald of Andraste and leader of the Inquisition after all. Many looked to him as an example and surely there should be a more elegant woman at his side. One with tact and grace.

Brow furrowed, Gideon cupped her cheek, "How can you even think that?"

"What if I can't have children?" The fear lingered in the air a moment before she averted her gaze.

"Cassandra…"

"You can't tell me you haven't thought about that possibility. My age-."

"That has never mattered to me."

"I know." She leaned into his touch, "But it can pose some complications. I never thought about children just like a lot of other things before you came into my life. And I'm not sure that we can fully think about that until we defeat Corypheus, but there is something about carrying a life we created that I yearn for."

Gideon found himself unable to speak from the amount of emotions swelling inside him.

"I want to give that to you. I just fear I cannot and you deserve children to carry on your name."

"If we are meant to have children then so be it. If not then there are more than enough children in Thedas in need of a good home."

She opened her mouth to argue only to close it in realization her stubbornness and insecurities were trying to shield her in a defense mechanism. Instead, she tilted her forehead to his and let herself give in. "I hope you don't tire of fighting for me even if the person you're fighting is me."

"My dear Seeker." Gideon brushed a kiss across her brow, "I will always fight for you even to the deepest depths of the fade."

Cassandra let out her signature snort of disgust.

Gideon could hear the laughter she tried to hold back, "Still think I'm ridiculous."

"Always."

"I'll make you regret saying that." Yawning, he drew her so that her head was resting on his chest, "Tomorrow. I'll make you regret it tomorrow."

Cassandra's eyes were growing heavy as she felt Gideon's breaths start to even out, "I look forward to it, my dear Inquisitor."

0o0o0o0o0o0o00o0o0

After the sun came up, Cassandra awoke with her body aching as if she had gone a couple rounds with a dragon and never felt so wonderful in her life. She slipped from the bed hoping to let her lover sleep just a little longer. It was no secret that Gideon had trouble with it and on several occasions she herself witnessed the nightmares that plagued him. He found that not sleeping was far easier to handle than the things he saw in the fade. Cassandra wished that there was a way she could fix it.

Gideon woke up almost instantly Cassandra left his arms and turned to find her pulling one of his tan tunics over his head. "Stealing my shirt?"

"Well I can't wear mine as it's nothing but shreds of fabric." Cassandra stated, "I was hoping you sleep more before we went down for first meal."

Gideon tried not to groan while pushing his aching body into a sitting position. He could feel the lines of fire down his back where Cassandra's nails had dragged across his skin. Smiling, he scooted to the edge of the bed so he could slip his arms around her waist, "You're quite the hellcat, my lady."

She threw her arms around his neck with a cheeky grin. The scratches weren't the only marks she left on his body and Cassandra flushed at the memory of just how his chest became littered with bite marks. "You expect something different?"

"Maker no. I'm quite happy with it." Gideon's gaze fell to the marks of passion he left at the base of her throat and realized that the opening of his tunic did nothing to hide the marks on the swell of his breast. Seeing them filled him with a sense of animalistic pride that he had branded her. Of course that was something Gideon would ever actually verbally admit that as Cassandra would have his balls for breakfast. "Will you be wearing only my shirt to the first meal?"

She could feel the heat start the build under this hungry gaze, "I think that the people of Skyhold have enough to talk about without me parading around in just your shirt." She was already preparing herself from the looks she was going to get because no matter what she wore, Cassandra couldn't conceal all the love marks.

Gideon playfully trailed his hand up and over her bare ass, "Are you sure?"

The Seeker took a step back knowing if she didn't they wouldn't make it to first meal. "Get cleaned up, Inquisitor. I will meet you down stairs."

"Cassandra." He stopped her at the door after she pulled on her pants. "Regrets?"

"None." She left on that note and started down the stairs to find Iron Bull sitting on the bottom step with his horn resting on the wall fast asleep. Smiling, Cassandra bent down to brush a soft kiss over the warrior's cheek snapping him awake. "Watch is over, Bull. Go get some proper sleep."

Iron Bull shook the sleep from his mind, "You and Boss all right?"

"Yes."

"Good." Iron Bull used the rail of the stairs to pull himself up onto his feet, "Does that mean that you're staying?"

"Was I going somewhere?"

The huge Qunari grinned, "See you at first meal, Cassandra."

Smiling herself, Cassandra decided to make a quick stop before she went back to her quarters to change. She wasn't all that surprised to find Leliana already up and working relentlessly behind her desk. "Don't you ever sleep?"

"When it suits me." The spymaster looked up from her paperwork and smiled, "I see you and the Inquisitor finally talked."

Cassandra's cheeks burned, "We did."

"I'm happy for you, Cassandra." Leliana remarked, "You would have made a great Divine, but I don't think that's what you truly wanted. I'm glad that you did what makes you actually happy."

"I think that Justinia would feel the same way." More than once, the Divine had encouraged Cassandra to do something for herself instead doing what others expected of her. In fact, Justinia had even hinted to the Seeker to start a life with a certain mage. How the Divine had known about Regalyan, Cassandra didn't know. They did keep in touch over the years and even shared each other's company more than a few times, but their relationship had become a bit strained after the mage rebellion started. "She would support you as well Leliana. I want you to know that you also have my full support."

"Thank you, my friend."

Cassandra nodded, "Now put down your work for a few moments and join us for first meal."


End file.
